"Kung Hei Fat Choy" (Wish you a prosperous New Year)!
2009-01-26
Kung Hei Fat Choy!!!
Today (Jan 26) is the first day of the Chinese year of the Ox. The Ox is the sign of prosperity through fortitude and hard work. So parents I hope this year brings you happiness and well-being in parenting your little ones. Enjoy! :bsmile
"Kung Hei Fat Choy" (Wish you a prosperous New Year)!
"Kung Hei Fat Choy" (Wish you a prosperous New Year)!
2009-01-25
Our best parenting decision ever made
Today DW and I talked about the numerous parenting decisions we've made so far and if there exists the best one (despite all our horrible mistakes!!! :wink: ).
For us, the best decision may be "moving house". The decision was planned, but the fact that it has been the best is retrospective.
DW and I had lived in a very small house (with a cat) for nearly 10 years before she was pregnant, and we had moved our house (still with the cat) to a place very near to DW's workplace (10 minute's walk suffices) just before DS's birth. At that time we only had a vague thought of "living close to MaMa's workplace so that mother and baby can see each other easily" (considering the general breastfeeding unfriendly environment here).
It has turned out that this decision was very correct because DW had problems expressing enough milk for storage, and DS actively resisted bottle-feeding (or any other containers holding BM - I was worried at that time - we had tried a dozen brands of bottles and teats). Since DW has resumed her job, there has been virtually no need for expressing breastmilk because either DW returns home to nurse during a short break or I wear DS to her workplace for a feeding (except once - but I used a banana instead of EBM!!! :D ).
Although usually everything is done in a quick rush - the timings between DW's scheduled meetings, DS's needs for feeding and naps often crash (which make me rather stressful)! But on the whole, we have been still able to manage it quite well IMHO (including the fact DW's bosses have never grumbled).
However, we may still move house again in the near future, because air pollution (and rent rate) is a problem in this most crowded part of the island. So if there is BabyFranklen2 (hopefully!) we may not be able to replicate this decision (I guess I will be very nervous again).
What about you? Could you share any best (planned or retrospectively speaking) parenting decision you think you've made so far?
For us, the best decision may be "moving house". The decision was planned, but the fact that it has been the best is retrospective.
DW and I had lived in a very small house (with a cat) for nearly 10 years before she was pregnant, and we had moved our house (still with the cat) to a place very near to DW's workplace (10 minute's walk suffices) just before DS's birth. At that time we only had a vague thought of "living close to MaMa's workplace so that mother and baby can see each other easily" (considering the general breastfeeding unfriendly environment here).
It has turned out that this decision was very correct because DW had problems expressing enough milk for storage, and DS actively resisted bottle-feeding (or any other containers holding BM - I was worried at that time - we had tried a dozen brands of bottles and teats). Since DW has resumed her job, there has been virtually no need for expressing breastmilk because either DW returns home to nurse during a short break or I wear DS to her workplace for a feeding (except once - but I used a banana instead of EBM!!! :D ).
Although usually everything is done in a quick rush - the timings between DW's scheduled meetings, DS's needs for feeding and naps often crash (which make me rather stressful)! But on the whole, we have been still able to manage it quite well IMHO (including the fact DW's bosses have never grumbled).
However, we may still move house again in the near future, because air pollution (and rent rate) is a problem in this most crowded part of the island. So if there is BabyFranklen2 (hopefully!) we may not be able to replicate this decision (I guess I will be very nervous again).
What about you? Could you share any best (planned or retrospectively speaking) parenting decision you think you've made so far?
2009-01-24
Cosleeping can be very safe
Once a friend living in USA after knowing we cosleep with our baby (sleeping next to DW who sleeps next to me) warned us about the danger of co-sleeping (mother rolling over baby). This was how I replied:
Don't worry:
1. Throughout human history, co-sleeping has been practised by countless cultures;
2 . I co-slept with my mom until teenage age;
3. I trust the sensitivity of breastfeeding mothers;
4. if safety guidelines (about conditions and positionings of parents; placements of pillows and blankets; types of beds; etc.) are observed there is no problem at all;
5. those "rolling adults" are usually men, very fat, drunken, drug-takers or smokers;
6. the cases of SIDs of babies in cribs far exceed those in parents' beds;
7. the so-called "danger" of co-sleeping is constructed by (male) pediatricians and crib companies out of control and profit motives.
Having said this, we will still be very careful. Thanks!
I don't know how many parents cosleep with their children in my city, but it must be practised by many - esp the lower class families. This city is highly densely populated, and for many lower-class families living in private rental flats their spaces are extremely small. There, it is not unusual to find the members of a 3-generation family (as many as 9 persons from what I read) sleeping very tightly together in two bunk beds (the ones who can't fit in sleep on the floor!).
Don't worry:
1. Throughout human history, co-sleeping has been practised by countless cultures;
2 . I co-slept with my mom until teenage age;
3. I trust the sensitivity of breastfeeding mothers;
4. if safety guidelines (about conditions and positionings of parents; placements of pillows and blankets; types of beds; etc.) are observed there is no problem at all;
5. those "rolling adults" are usually men, very fat, drunken, drug-takers or smokers;
6. the cases of SIDs of babies in cribs far exceed those in parents' beds;
7. the so-called "danger" of co-sleeping is constructed by (male) pediatricians and crib companies out of control and profit motives.
Having said this, we will still be very careful. Thanks!
I don't know how many parents cosleep with their children in my city, but it must be practised by many - esp the lower class families. This city is highly densely populated, and for many lower-class families living in private rental flats their spaces are extremely small. There, it is not unusual to find the members of a 3-generation family (as many as 9 persons from what I read) sleeping very tightly together in two bunk beds (the ones who can't fit in sleep on the floor!).
2009-01-23
How we started Elimination Communication
DW let DS sit on a potty every morning for a short while since the 9th (or 8th?) month so that he is familiar with it and plays with it (DS always poos in the morning [now also in the evening - but always when DW is present!!!). Now when DS needs to poo his facial expression will become very serious, and DW will put him in the potty immediately, and he wil poo brilliantly there then.
We consider this elimination commuication not "potty training" because we concern not about the "control" (though DS does hold on for 15 seconds :D ) but the "release" and responding to the need. This has been a traditional way of doing in my city...(BTW, BLW, breastfeeding, cosleeping, and babywearing are all ancient stuff, aren't they?).
There is some latest update. DS used to poo every 12+ days since the 3rd month (even after starting solids; but he was not constipated). After this introduction of potty the intervals between pooing have been considerably shortened - from 7 to 5 and then latest 3 days. A big step!
Well, I miss the days when I didn't have to clean the potty at 7a.m. :oops: (I usually sleep later than 2 am)
We consider this elimination commuication not "potty training" because we concern not about the "control" (though DS does hold on for 15 seconds :D ) but the "release" and responding to the need. This has been a traditional way of doing in my city...(BTW, BLW, breastfeeding, cosleeping, and babywearing are all ancient stuff, aren't they?).
There is some latest update. DS used to poo every 12+ days since the 3rd month (even after starting solids; but he was not constipated). After this introduction of potty the intervals between pooing have been considerably shortened - from 7 to 5 and then latest 3 days. A big step!
Well, I miss the days when I didn't have to clean the potty at 7a.m. :oops: (I usually sleep later than 2 am)
2009-01-21
Re: Milk and Calcium
Traditionally most people in this city relied on soya beans, tofu, greens, sesame, fish bones, small dried shrimps & fishes, seeds like fructus lycii, fig, etc. to provide calcium. Dairy products were considered very "luxury" and "Western" food.
2009-01-20
Re: Show me the light!!!
1) How long should I wait after she has nursed to offer solids?
There is a saying that you should wait at least 20 minutes to prevent interference with the absorption of iron from breastmilk (esp if your lo is iron deficient). But I guess a lot of people are too eager to BLW so not many of them observe this!
I admit that we always try to but sometimes we can't (because you know life with a baby is always very rush).
2) How many times now shd I offer solids? once or twice or more??Shd I offer solids whenever I am having my meals (which is typically b/l/d)?
The theory is that you can get your lo sit & eat together with you whenever you have meals or snacks. But you may start gradually instead. The core thing is that food at this beginning stage is for exploration (i.e. mess!!!) not as sources of nutrition (perhaps except iron - but it depends.
We started with breakfast and lunch and later added an afternoon snack. Sometimes we omit a meal when really busy or DS naps late.
3) Should I start offering her water with her "meals"? I have bought her a straw cup.Do i offer her water in that or shd I help her drink from an open cup?
Yes you should offer her some water (whether she takes or not is another matter) whenever having solids to prevent constipation (but you may skip if time to breastfeeding is very near). Some people here taught their los to drink from a regular cup (wow!), some a straw cup, and others a sippy cup (e.g. me). DS just takes a few sips each time.
4) I know babies need to eat full fat stuff.What are the good fats that I can offer her? How much butter / ghee /cheese is okay to give on a toast?
healthy fats: olive oil, fish, avocado, nut butter (any allergy to peanut?), flax oil, etc.
Also don't forget saturated fats: yogurt, egg, butter, coconut oil, etc... Saturated fats are also good for babies (before 2 years)
According to Gill Rapley (the author of "BLW" (book)), everyday you can give a quarter of a baby-sized handful of healthy fats to a baby.
5) What type of cheese can I give her? We dont eat a lot of cheese so I have no idea about the types available .I sometimes make cheese/paneer at home using full fat milk.Could I give her that too?
Well, let other tell you because this is also my question (most cheese I can find contains a lot of sodium) (perhaps some brands of cream or cottage cheese are OK.)
6) Are eggs safe now?Can I give her an omelette?
The conservative guideline is that egg white after 12 months. Well it all depends on whether your lo is allergic to it. We gave the whole egg since the 9th month.
7) What type of rice would be good for her? I think I did read somewhere that brown short grain rice is better because it cooks softer. :?
The rice people in your country normally eat. You may fry or slightly overcook it to make it more easy to be grasped.
8) I understand that babies dont need a lot of fiber now.We are from India and I use whole wheat flour for making flatbreads( chapatis/rotis/parathas etc).Could I give her those flatbreads or do I make flatbreads using dough which has 50/50 whole wheat n refined flour?
Babies don't need too much insoluble fiber but still a lot of soluble fiber. So stay away from brans. Alternate between whole wheat bread and white bread or just don't use 100% whole wheat.
There is a saying that you should wait at least 20 minutes to prevent interference with the absorption of iron from breastmilk (esp if your lo is iron deficient). But I guess a lot of people are too eager to BLW so not many of them observe this!
I admit that we always try to but sometimes we can't (because you know life with a baby is always very rush).
2) How many times now shd I offer solids? once or twice or more??Shd I offer solids whenever I am having my meals (which is typically b/l/d)?
The theory is that you can get your lo sit & eat together with you whenever you have meals or snacks. But you may start gradually instead. The core thing is that food at this beginning stage is for exploration (i.e. mess!!!) not as sources of nutrition (perhaps except iron - but it depends.
We started with breakfast and lunch and later added an afternoon snack. Sometimes we omit a meal when really busy or DS naps late.
3) Should I start offering her water with her "meals"? I have bought her a straw cup.Do i offer her water in that or shd I help her drink from an open cup?
Yes you should offer her some water (whether she takes or not is another matter) whenever having solids to prevent constipation (but you may skip if time to breastfeeding is very near). Some people here taught their los to drink from a regular cup (wow!), some a straw cup, and others a sippy cup (e.g. me). DS just takes a few sips each time.
4) I know babies need to eat full fat stuff.What are the good fats that I can offer her? How much butter / ghee /cheese is okay to give on a toast?
healthy fats: olive oil, fish, avocado, nut butter (any allergy to peanut?), flax oil, etc.
Also don't forget saturated fats: yogurt, egg, butter, coconut oil, etc... Saturated fats are also good for babies (before 2 years)
According to Gill Rapley (the author of "BLW" (book)), everyday you can give a quarter of a baby-sized handful of healthy fats to a baby.
5) What type of cheese can I give her? We dont eat a lot of cheese so I have no idea about the types available .I sometimes make cheese/paneer at home using full fat milk.Could I give her that too?
Well, let other tell you because this is also my question (most cheese I can find contains a lot of sodium) (perhaps some brands of cream or cottage cheese are OK.)
6) Are eggs safe now?Can I give her an omelette?
The conservative guideline is that egg white after 12 months. Well it all depends on whether your lo is allergic to it. We gave the whole egg since the 9th month.
7) What type of rice would be good for her? I think I did read somewhere that brown short grain rice is better because it cooks softer. :?
The rice people in your country normally eat. You may fry or slightly overcook it to make it more easy to be grasped.
8) I understand that babies dont need a lot of fiber now.We are from India and I use whole wheat flour for making flatbreads( chapatis/rotis/parathas etc).Could I give her those flatbreads or do I make flatbreads using dough which has 50/50 whole wheat n refined flour?
Babies don't need too much insoluble fiber but still a lot of soluble fiber. So stay away from brans. Alternate between whole wheat bread and white bread or just don't use 100% whole wheat.
2009-01-19
Re: Poo question!!
People always think purees are easily digested. How do they know? Can they identify undigested purees from the poos?
Re: Do you think that they can understand that we are ill?
I am afraid DS can't. Whenever I say to him PaPa is tired and needs to sleep longer he will take away my blanket because he thinks I am playing inversed Peekaboo with him....
Re: How I do BLW breakfast
I said I would report back if my "homemade baked beans" experiment is successful. OK, I have done it twice, and DS did pick up and eat a small portion each time because he didn't want to disappoint his PaPa who cooked badly.
I soaked a small cup of canelloni beans overnight, boiled them for 20 minutes and then put into a vaccum pot for 6 (or 8?) hours. The beans came out quite soft. For the sauce, I used chopped tomato, brown sugar, lemon juice, butter, vegetable stock, and a little water, and heated them until the sauce was quite concentrated. Then I stirred the sauce with the drained beans and heated everything again.
I am still experimenting different proportions of ingredients.
Next time I may try navy beans or soya beans instead, and may add onion, mustard and egg (and pork or bacon?).
(Warning: I've heard that anything acidic and salt [though I haven't used salt above] must never be added to the beans until the end for they will toughen the skins of beans and make them never get soft.)
I soaked a small cup of canelloni beans overnight, boiled them for 20 minutes and then put into a vaccum pot for 6 (or 8?) hours. The beans came out quite soft. For the sauce, I used chopped tomato, brown sugar, lemon juice, butter, vegetable stock, and a little water, and heated them until the sauce was quite concentrated. Then I stirred the sauce with the drained beans and heated everything again.
I am still experimenting different proportions of ingredients.
Next time I may try navy beans or soya beans instead, and may add onion, mustard and egg (and pork or bacon?).
(Warning: I've heard that anything acidic and salt [though I haven't used salt above] must never be added to the beans until the end for they will toughen the skins of beans and make them never get soft.)
2009-01-17
Salt paranoia?
Tell you something: I am paranoia with salt (Perhaps no one in this forum is as serious as me :wink: )
Symptoms:
Irrationality and delusion:
I always check the sodium content of a packaged food (e.g. cereal, crackers, spread) in supermarket if I want DS to eat this. This means if the sodium level exceeds 100mg per 100Kcal of energy, I will not buy it (the less the better - I got this guideline from the local consumer council; your may check if your government suggests another. Gill Rapley suggests an easier set in her book: high-salt: >= 600mg Na per 100g of food; low-salt: <120mg Na per 100g of food.)
Salt level is the primary reason I bought a bread machine to homemake bread.
And it's the reason why I am hesitated to buy cheese and hummus spread sold on the market.
I am concerned about salt because the sodium levels of most adult food are too unhealthy high, but perhaps we have been used to it. Eating out always means too much salt is consumed unwittingly (1 level teaspoon = ~ 2400mg of sodium = ~ suggested max daily intake for adults = 6 times baby (0-12m) max daily intake = 3 times toddler (1-3) max daily intake) I don't want from the very beginning to make DS develop a "heavy" taste which will affect him lifelong.
Treatment:
You know, such delusions will kill me! Here are the ways I save myself from developing further into schizophrenia:
1. When eating at home, I try to make the food salt-free or as low as possible (or add salt only after taking out the portions for DS) (you can use spices or herbs etc. to replace salt)
2. I try to limit the frequency of eating out (I know that it's inescapble, but if we mostly eat at home I will reassure myself it doesn't matter too much for occassional eating-outs (+pray!)
3. Even with 2, I usually bring my own food for DS when eating out: like an apple or rice cakes without added salt, so in case the food on the menu is really not acceptable (I have to trust my tongue), DS also has something to eat.
Results:
After BLWing for 5 months I guess I am more relaxed now - Not because I have relaxed my standards but because I think I am more experienced in (used to) to select "better" food for all of us (I have never brought a notepad though). So I hope your worry doesn't deter you from enjoying BLW.
Symptoms:
Irrationality and delusion:
I always check the sodium content of a packaged food (e.g. cereal, crackers, spread) in supermarket if I want DS to eat this. This means if the sodium level exceeds 100mg per 100Kcal of energy, I will not buy it (the less the better - I got this guideline from the local consumer council; your may check if your government suggests another. Gill Rapley suggests an easier set in her book: high-salt: >= 600mg Na per 100g of food; low-salt: <120mg Na per 100g of food.)
Salt level is the primary reason I bought a bread machine to homemake bread.
And it's the reason why I am hesitated to buy cheese and hummus spread sold on the market.
I am concerned about salt because the sodium levels of most adult food are too unhealthy high, but perhaps we have been used to it. Eating out always means too much salt is consumed unwittingly (1 level teaspoon = ~ 2400mg of sodium = ~ suggested max daily intake for adults = 6 times baby (0-12m) max daily intake = 3 times toddler (1-3) max daily intake) I don't want from the very beginning to make DS develop a "heavy" taste which will affect him lifelong.
Treatment:
You know, such delusions will kill me! Here are the ways I save myself from developing further into schizophrenia:
1. When eating at home, I try to make the food salt-free or as low as possible (or add salt only after taking out the portions for DS) (you can use spices or herbs etc. to replace salt)
2. I try to limit the frequency of eating out (I know that it's inescapble, but if we mostly eat at home I will reassure myself it doesn't matter too much for occassional eating-outs (+pray!)
3. Even with 2, I usually bring my own food for DS when eating out: like an apple or rice cakes without added salt, so in case the food on the menu is really not acceptable (I have to trust my tongue), DS also has something to eat.
Results:
After BLWing for 5 months I guess I am more relaxed now - Not because I have relaxed my standards but because I think I am more experienced in (used to) to select "better" food for all of us (I have never brought a notepad though). So I hope your worry doesn't deter you from enjoying BLW.
2009-01-16
Franklen's no cry nap solution for an intense baby
Franklen's no cry nap solution for an intense baby (copyleft ) (based on the ideas from Pantley's NCSS and Sears's Nightime Parenting)
=======================================
0. When he (she) is tired (mine is every 2 hours if his last nap lasted only 1 hour or if it is the morning first nap) - watch closely for signs of tireness (e.g. red eyes, yawning, rubbing eyes, etc.)
1. Rock (or swing etc.) him until he is almost asleep;
2. During rocking, pat him and sing a lullaby (or say something soothing), repeatedly;
3. When he is almost asleep, put him on the desired place very slowly, during the process continue to pat him and sing the song;
4. If he wakes up when touching the bed, without picking him up, continue to pat him and sing the song, until he closes his eyes. Continue to pat and sing for a while. You may place your palm on his head or back (experiment with different positions) to provide extra security.
5. If he fusses too much in step 4 (which may make him unable to sleep altogether) (e.g. more than 30 seconds - you judge), you may pick him up and repeat step 1 - 4 one or two more times.
6. If you really can't put him down this time, try again next time, or the following day, or several days later when you are not tired.
My intention is to help him replace the previous rocking-sleep association (which is one and only one) with patting/lullaby-sleep associations (which is variable). If you succeed, when he wakes up during the deep sleep- REM sleep transitions (mine is the 30th-45th minutes interval), you may just pat him and/or sing the lullaby (but your action has to be quick and preventive) to make him go back to sleep again. Eventually you may not need to do this too. (I have arrived this in a month's time)
I had tried this successfully with my intense and sensitive DS (I wear him to naps since the 2nd month every day) and it worked brilliantly between month 5 - month 8, before he was painfully teething and started to develop separation anxiety in the 9th month (poor DS...).
Prior to the 5th month, I wore him continously for 1 hour for each nap but he always woke up when being put on the bed. I was so tired and this caused me to think about ways of change.
My current method is slightly different, still wearing him in a sling when nap routine (reading 1 book, singing 3 lullabies, and putting to sling) begins, but I only wear him for 200 more seconds after he has closed his eyes (I guess his sleeping pattern has become more mature however high-need and so he enters deep sleep more quickly) (usually I need to walk/swing 5-10 minutes to make him sleep), and he can enjoy a total 1-1.5 hours nap without waking up and without me doing anything. I am also able to nap with him again (I feel tears in my eyes when writing this) but stay wide apart on bed because we are easily mutually triggered.
Perhaps I should (if I can) help him "wean" from the sling very positively one day (because my back is sometimes painful - he is 22lbs [18lbs at the 4th month]), but he needs me at the moment so maybe months later.
Straw cup
So good to know that some parents have successfully introduced a "normal" cup from start, wow! I wish I had done that.
Yesterday I successfully taught DS to use a straw cup - in 10 minutes. He loves it so much! But I am a bit worried he drinks too much too quick - reducing the appetite for breastmilk! ( I never worried this with the sippy cup)
Today, there comes another problem with the straw cup: Every time he sucked, he just sucked a lot of water in, and then splited it out without swallowing (with smiles!), wetting all his clothes (now it's cold winter). And he fought when I wanted to take the cup back.
Oh no! I wish I had never given him the cup!
Yesterday I successfully taught DS to use a straw cup - in 10 minutes. He loves it so much! But I am a bit worried he drinks too much too quick - reducing the appetite for breastmilk! ( I never worried this with the sippy cup)
Today, there comes another problem with the straw cup: Every time he sucked, he just sucked a lot of water in, and then splited it out without swallowing (with smiles!), wetting all his clothes (now it's cold winter). And he fought when I wanted to take the cup back.
Oh no! I wish I had never given him the cup!
Mei Tai
It's very interesting to know how babies are crawling, walking or even climbing! Babies are all different (and I guess the timing of walking is partially related to the baby's temperament), whether they are early or late walkers soon they all will walk and run like a pro!
Most people in Hong Kong use strollers, though I see in recent years there is a slight increase of people wearing their babies (using packs or structured carriers). Personally I think managing a stroller in a highly densely populated small (and the world's most capitalist) city like HK is a torture. It's far less convenient esp when travelling with the stroller in transport.
But I guess in many lower-class families in HK, the stay-at-home parents (usually moms) still wear their los in Mei Tai (we pronounce "Meh Dai" - "Meh"=wear, "Dai"=belt) on their backs when doing household chores like cooking
In many Asian countries (I guess more usual in "less" "modernized" parts) a baby is constantly carried. I also know that in the Philippines many women also just carry their children on their hips. In Indonesia, babies are often carried in a fabric - it's tied and used skillfully like a sling but without a ring (magic!). The sling or the wrap, etc. has a history maybe as ancient as human's.
(I usually see foreigers in Hong Kong pushing their babies in strollers - I don't know why, but the brands of the strollers are always the same - Maclaren - which local people seldom use - is it that good?)
The traditional Chinese Meh Dai requires the baby to sit in a frog-leg position, straddling the tummy or the back of his/her parent. This is believed to provide adequate spine and hip support (I think that the crotch piece of most structured carriers sold on the market is too narrow , the weight of the small baby is being put on his/her spine too early [in addition, the legs just dangle - will the hip joints be stretched too much?]). When I was very young, many children (and their parents, grandparents, ... ) here were still carrried in this way. However, when I first wore DS and went out, one of the questions asked by today local stroller-users was "will you make your baby's legs malformed?" I forget how I responded.
2009-01-14
(Joy) DS starts to walk....We are so proud!
DW and I have never used a baby-walker and only used the stroller twice (despite having been repeatedly urged by MIL). And we (usually I) wear DS for hours everyday. But now he (at the 10th month) can already walk unaided! We are so proud of him :D because DS shows that babywearing will not hinder a baby's motor development.2009-01-13
Re: Meat (& dairy) and BLW?
Chicken was one of DS's first foods and now his favourite. We always steam-boil it until it's soft.
We usually offer chicken breasts (methods below) but I know many people give their los a leg bone because the meat there is less easy to fall off as tiny bits. But remember to remove any soft, splint or thin bones first.
We have tried the following methods
1. As meatballs (e.g. + potato, spinach, tofu, vegetable broth)
2. As bits (spread in congee (or porridge), macaroni, etc... [in preloaded spoons])
3. As strips (for being held by the fist)
4. As bite size pieces (only when the pincer grasp has appeared)
We have only offered beef and pork in method 4, after we are quite confident that DS can handle it.
DW has no history of allergies to dairy foods (but her brother does), but I am rather lactose intolerant in recent years. We have given DS butter (first in homemaking bread and then spread on bread and potato), and whole-fat yogurt (dipped by fruit sticks) at the 10th month. We haven't given cheese yet primary because most cheese we can find here contains a lot of sodium [>300mg per 100g food]. We will not give cow milk before 1 year. (Actually diary foods are not parts of our usual diets to obtain calcium and protein, so I'd like cow milk be avoided altogether as much as we can).
The culture in yogurt has modified cow milk and made it less allergenic, so I think that's why it is more acceptable than cow's milk.
2009-01-12
Sippy cup
I had taught DS to use a sippy cup since the 4th month, but he really could master it in the 6~7th months.
The sippy cup he uses (and loves) is valve-free, hard sprout, with handles, and transparent. At that time I hadn't bought a soft sprout one to avoid possible nipple confusion (well perhaps I was too worried).
When DS did not tip the bottom up, I raised it a bit for him, so that he knew what he should have done to get the water down. Now he uses it like a pro!
And yes, we always offer the sippy cup whenever with solids to avoid constipation. But he never drinks (needs) more than 0.5 ounce each time (he is still breastfed frequently so no problem) .
Constipation
Babies' intestines may need time to adjust to solids. I know it's so sad that they (and you parents) can't sleep well because of this. Stop the food you think may contribute to their constipation for a while.
When we first started BLW, we only gave banana after DS had just pooed! But the rice cake (which causes constipation to many babies) is always his favourite and is friendly to his guts. I guess babies are all different.
Have you tried prune juice (1:3)? If it doesn't work, a very good nutritious natural laxative is flax oil. One teaspoon (spread in porridge or others) can make DS who usually poos every 10 days (but he is not constipated) pooled in 24 hrs.
We limit water to a sippy cup because DS is still breastfed quite frequently. We don't want "plenty of water" to decrease his appetite for bm.
The food we offer to him also includes some fiber (e.g. broccoli, whole grain cereal, fruits with skin) (but limit fiber for younger babies). We also give him "p" fruits regularly.
When we first started BLW, we only gave banana after DS had just pooed! But the rice cake (which causes constipation to many babies) is always his favourite and is friendly to his guts. I guess babies are all different.
Have you tried prune juice (1:3)? If it doesn't work, a very good nutritious natural laxative is flax oil. One teaspoon (spread in porridge or others) can make DS who usually poos every 10 days (but he is not constipated) pooled in 24 hrs.
We limit water to a sippy cup because DS is still breastfed quite frequently. We don't want "plenty of water" to decrease his appetite for bm.
The food we offer to him also includes some fiber (e.g. broccoli, whole grain cereal, fruits with skin) (but limit fiber for younger babies). We also give him "p" fruits regularly.
2009-01-10
Re: frequent nightwakings
I slept very poorly last night. And many many nights before too. DS again wakes up every 30 minute to 1 hour every night recently. Last night (i.e. in the early morning) I just left the bedroom and did some computer work (and left a thread here) and rested on the sofa, and let DW alone sleep with him on the family bed but stay wider apart. Now at this moment (local time 10:15 am) he has been napping for an hour on the same bed (but had I napped with him he might have already waken up in the 30th minute deep sleep--REM sleep transition screaming). You know how exhausted I am. This situation has been persisting nearly 11 months and my study is being adversely interrupted. CIO-minded people may think that as a "DH" I am totally "qualified" to propose the harsh solution, but I won't, and having understood deeply the temperament of my lo (and having known the experience of others) I am quite certain that CIO won't work for high need babies except threatening the trust we have developed.
Having said this, NCSS [No-cry sleep solution] is still our goal, albeit not at this moment, when issues like teething and nose congestion are still abound. We did have occassional small "victories" in the past (DS slept a 2~3 hours stretch).
You may postpone your sleeping plan for your lo until she has recovered from the illness. Tense babies can't sleep. I guess for some high need over-sensitive babies like DS [probably your lo too] the core problem is the proximity (i.e. sleeping distance) between the parents and the baby - too far away s/he will have nighttime separation anxiety, too close s/he will be easily triggered (assume that s/he is not ill). We may have to experiment with alternative sleeping arrangments (when all other physical/environmental/medical/... causes of nightwaking are cleared or at least controlled), but definitely CIO is not in our dictionary.
I hope this helps! Oh, DS is waking up! Sorry I haven't spellchecked!
A final note: From my experience I think that it is very difficult to attribute sudden frequent nightwaking to solely one cause (sometimes this could be highly misleading thinking leading to a bad conclusion). Your DD's problem may be as much medical as psychological. Just my little reminder.
Having said this, NCSS [No-cry sleep solution] is still our goal, albeit not at this moment, when issues like teething and nose congestion are still abound. We did have occassional small "victories" in the past (DS slept a 2~3 hours stretch).
You may postpone your sleeping plan for your lo until she has recovered from the illness. Tense babies can't sleep. I guess for some high need over-sensitive babies like DS [probably your lo too] the core problem is the proximity (i.e. sleeping distance) between the parents and the baby - too far away s/he will have nighttime separation anxiety, too close s/he will be easily triggered (assume that s/he is not ill). We may have to experiment with alternative sleeping arrangments (when all other physical/environmental/medical/... causes of nightwaking are cleared or at least controlled), but definitely CIO is not in our dictionary.
I hope this helps! Oh, DS is waking up! Sorry I haven't spellchecked!
A final note: From my experience I think that it is very difficult to attribute sudden frequent nightwaking to solely one cause (sometimes this could be highly misleading thinking leading to a bad conclusion). Your DD's problem may be as much medical as psychological. Just my little reminder.
Re: TV trouble
We don't let DS watch TV at all (even when we are visiting our relatives). We just turn it off except when he is sleeping. Well, I admit that TV is a convenient tool because whenever it's on, DS just stares at it.
The Academy of American Pediatrics once advised that no child under age two should watch television at all, for its alleged link to ADHD in later life (due to the nature of TV - rapidly changing images). I guess the effects of TV on children will be debated forever, but since DS is already a high-need very distractible and energetic baby, so we adopt the precautionary principle.
At least two of my friends/relatives do think that TV is the "only" way to make their "hyperactive" (their term) toddlers sit still for a while, so that the parents can "take a breath" (they have let their children watch TV since very young babies). I don't know whether the chicken or the egg came first.
The Academy of American Pediatrics once advised that no child under age two should watch television at all, for its alleged link to ADHD in later life (due to the nature of TV - rapidly changing images). I guess the effects of TV on children will be debated forever, but since DS is already a high-need very distractible and energetic baby, so we adopt the precautionary principle.
At least two of my friends/relatives do think that TV is the "only" way to make their "hyperactive" (their term) toddlers sit still for a while, so that the parents can "take a breath" (they have let their children watch TV since very young babies). I don't know whether the chicken or the egg came first.
2009-01-09
Re: Restless sleep at 1 year....
Sudden frequent night wakings of a former good sleeper is very likely due to physical or medical causes. Besides teething and developmental milestones, it could be due to some hidden infection (e.g. of the ears) or allergic reactions (to food etc.). I suggest parents to consult a doctor if the situation persists for more days....
Re: veg then fruit?
I second the saying that breastmilk is so sweet it doesn't really matter whether vegetables come before fruits when introducing solids in babies. In addition, breastfed babies have already experienced different tastes from hsr mother's breastmilk. They are more likely to enjoy the different tastes of solids and be less picky.
Fruits were DS's first foods, but he still loves food with very mild taste (e.g. plain rice).
Fruits were DS's first foods, but he still loves food with very mild taste (e.g. plain rice).
"Breadfeeding"
I don't know if you believe it or not, but it's very true that recently whenever I want to type the word "breastfeeding" in international forums, I will type it breadfeeding instead first. I am often laughed by others as a result.... Poor English from a non-English writer....
I guess I am being poisoned by blw and breadmaking....
So, please forgive me in advance!!! :)
(OK, I am not alone, there are 432 entries if you google the word.)
I guess I am being poisoned by blw and breadmaking....
So, please forgive me in advance!!! :)
(OK, I am not alone, there are 432 entries if you google the word.)
What is Continuum Fathering?
I try to integrate the principles described in the book continuum concept into my (as a father) style of parenting:
http://www.continuum-concept.org/
I try to involve myself as much as possible in (supporting) breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, and being responsive to my babies' needs with respect, and I see children as inherently cooperative and social and capable of living in harmony with Nature, etc.
People may call this "attachment parenting" (some may even consider it a fad), but actually these principles have been practised by many traditional cultures for centuries, and so are not a modern ("Western") invention as is often assumed.
I am still learning what I want myself to be, so I'd better stop here :oops:
2009-01-07
Re: is it too late for a sling with a toddler? (what to do when cooking?!)
My initial response was a Mei-tai-like soft carrier, but after rethinking I'd suggest a ring sling (hip carry), because it allows your toddler to observe in a close distance without feeling too confined.
Personally I use a sling for DS's naps and household chores like vaccum cleaning, and a mei tai usually for outings and anything I don't want DS to reach.
Here are some good photos on the common problems of using a sling. I choose them because they were taken of a father and a son!
http://www.thebabywearer.com/index.php? ... ngproblems
By hip carrying I mean your son's legs will straddle one side of your hip.
I agree that cooking and wearing a toddler can be dangerous esp you are dealing with hot oil etc. When the work involved is not that dangerous, you can improve the safety more by shifting him backward so that he is behind you. But you still have to be careful: he may grab a sword without you knowing it!
A final note: your body may take some time to (suddenly) adjust to the weight of your son , and you may feel rather hard initially (OK if you just wear him for a while). Remember to spread the fabric on your back evenly so that the weight is not just distributed on the shoulder. I hope this helps.
2009-01-05
How I do BLW breakfast
I know the stress of beginners when planning breakfast because I also struggled a lot with it when I first started BLW. I am extremely poor at cooking and don't know why others (usually the respectable moms) have achieved this brilliantly, but finally I come up with the following base formula: Fresh fruit + Carbohydrate
A fresh fruit in the morning is very refreshing esp in warm seasons. It also provides vitamin C (to aid iron absorption and other benefits) and fibre to prevent constipation. Basically it can be a "p" fruit, a soft apple, a melon, a banana (well banana is itself a good energy source and sometimes enough for the whole breakfast!!!) or any other fruits (be careful of small round ones such as grapes - cut into halves). I usually offer it in sticks, wedges or whole (in the case of apples).
DS also likes fruit sticks dipped in whole-fat yoghurt (babies need whole-fat versions, but too fatty for me).
Carbohydrates provide stable energy to start the day and is esp. indispensible in cool seasons. The choices are also numerous (we've tried and rotated all the following many times):
e.g.
1.dry cereal or cereal with milk (I use oat milk or soymilk instead of cow milk) (e.g. Wxxxxbix, Shxxxded Wheat)
2. congee (or your porridge), macaroni, etc. I usually spread some chicken/fish bits (if there is stored cooked food in the refrigerator), cooked peas, chopped greens or tomato into them, and may add a teaspoon of olive oil (you may use flax oil instead - very nutritious and effective laxative) to increase the good fats. I may also add tofu or a small amount (because too sweet) of soaked dried fruits.
3. bread spread with butter or nut butter or avocado. I use a bread machine to make rye or wholegrain (but not 100% wholegrain because not suitable for babies yet) bread and set the timer pointer to the morning. Homemaking enables me to monitor the salt level (and is preservative-free!) (pure white bread is "frightening" for new parents as it becomes sticky in the mouth when mixed with saliva, unless toasted]
4. cake. I also use the bread machine to make cake (in holidays...), but considerably reduce the sugar and replace the cow milk with oat milk.
5. rice cakes (+ nut butter or fruit puree or anything runny). Rice cake is our life savior!
6. baked or steam-boiled potato or sweet potato (+butter, etc.) (I haven't added cheese yet because most cheese I can find is salty)
7. whole wheat biscuits or oat biscuits/crackers (but be careful of salt and sugar level) (+ fruit puree, etc.)
The base formula above is composed of two parts, so if lo doesn't like one part I don't have to rush to the kitchen! (note that other nutrients such as proteins, fats and calcium are usually added on that too.)
For drinks, I just give water in a sippy cup. I also offer prune juice (1:3) when DS hasn't pooed for a week!
You may also try scrambled eggs or pancakes. I am now experimenting with homemade baked beans and may let you know the result (if succeed)!
I am sure other people will provide much more better solutions than mine (you know, many of them are good cook indeed). Anyway, I hope the above can aid the beginners stresslessly planning their first BLW breakfasts (actually as you have seen not much planning is required). Your comments are most welcome!
Tips:
1. remember, relax and eat TOGETHER with your lo! A good breakfast will enable YOU to have an adequate blood sugar level to look after your baby!
2. After breakfast perhaps your lo is in a good mood for you to brush his/her teeth (and vice versa :D )
A fresh fruit in the morning is very refreshing esp in warm seasons. It also provides vitamin C (to aid iron absorption and other benefits) and fibre to prevent constipation. Basically it can be a "p" fruit, a soft apple, a melon, a banana (well banana is itself a good energy source and sometimes enough for the whole breakfast!!!) or any other fruits (be careful of small round ones such as grapes - cut into halves). I usually offer it in sticks, wedges or whole (in the case of apples).
DS also likes fruit sticks dipped in whole-fat yoghurt (babies need whole-fat versions, but too fatty for me).
Carbohydrates provide stable energy to start the day and is esp. indispensible in cool seasons. The choices are also numerous (we've tried and rotated all the following many times):
e.g.
1.dry cereal or cereal with milk (I use oat milk or soymilk instead of cow milk) (e.g. Wxxxxbix, Shxxxded Wheat)
2. congee (or your porridge), macaroni, etc. I usually spread some chicken/fish bits (if there is stored cooked food in the refrigerator), cooked peas, chopped greens or tomato into them, and may add a teaspoon of olive oil (you may use flax oil instead - very nutritious and effective laxative) to increase the good fats. I may also add tofu or a small amount (because too sweet) of soaked dried fruits.
3. bread spread with butter or nut butter or avocado. I use a bread machine to make rye or wholegrain (but not 100% wholegrain because not suitable for babies yet) bread and set the timer pointer to the morning. Homemaking enables me to monitor the salt level (and is preservative-free!) (pure white bread is "frightening" for new parents as it becomes sticky in the mouth when mixed with saliva, unless toasted]
4. cake. I also use the bread machine to make cake (in holidays...), but considerably reduce the sugar and replace the cow milk with oat milk.
5. rice cakes (+ nut butter or fruit puree or anything runny). Rice cake is our life savior!
6. baked or steam-boiled potato or sweet potato (+butter, etc.) (I haven't added cheese yet because most cheese I can find is salty)
7. whole wheat biscuits or oat biscuits/crackers (but be careful of salt and sugar level) (+ fruit puree, etc.)
The base formula above is composed of two parts, so if lo doesn't like one part I don't have to rush to the kitchen! (note that other nutrients such as proteins, fats and calcium are usually added on that too.)
For drinks, I just give water in a sippy cup. I also offer prune juice (1:3) when DS hasn't pooed for a week!
You may also try scrambled eggs or pancakes. I am now experimenting with homemade baked beans and may let you know the result (if succeed)!
I am sure other people will provide much more better solutions than mine (you know, many of them are good cook indeed). Anyway, I hope the above can aid the beginners stresslessly planning their first BLW breakfasts (actually as you have seen not much planning is required). Your comments are most welcome!
Tips:
1. remember, relax and eat TOGETHER with your lo! A good breakfast will enable YOU to have an adequate blood sugar level to look after your baby!
2. After breakfast perhaps your lo is in a good mood for you to brush his/her teeth (and vice versa :D )
Apples
2009-01-04
Re: Meat & fish
My point is because we are backed up by breastmilk, we should not worry too much about nutrients, and can very gradually build up a good foundation of eating solids with a view to the day lo is completely weaned...(though bearing in mind that babies seem to know which food they need).
As far as I know, "red meat", chicken, fish, eggs or soy beans (e.g. tofu) provide all essential amino acids. A large variety of vegetables, beans, nuts and grains do combine to form a complete provision.
Prior to 1970s most people in my city relied on soy beans and tofu, greens and brown rice etc. to provide most of the essential nutrients including protein and calcium. Meat was consumed in large amounts only during festivals, and dairy products were considered very "luxury" and "Western" food.
As far as I know, "red meat", chicken, fish, eggs or soy beans (e.g. tofu) provide all essential amino acids. A large variety of vegetables, beans, nuts and grains do combine to form a complete provision.
Prior to 1970s most people in my city relied on soy beans and tofu, greens and brown rice etc. to provide most of the essential nutrients including protein and calcium. Meat was consumed in large amounts only during festivals, and dairy products were considered very "luxury" and "Western" food.
Re: Help! I have turned into a fundamentalist!
Today, we were at the park and DS fed himself first a sweet potato and second an apple in front of two pairs of parents at different moments. Both of them felt very surprised and a little bit embarassed as their babies (both double the age of DS) are still spoonfed. I think we've taught them a lesson.
I feel sorry for their babies (and their parents too). But if I hadn't read Gill Rapley's 2006 article perhaps as new parents our way of introducing solids would have been similar to theirs and to those of the generations of "mainstream public", and would have reproduced many eating problems too.
After all, this "mainstream" way of feeding babies is being actively promoted by numerous books, companies and "professionals" EVERYDAY (nowadays I often bracket the word "professional" because you know) and is a billion-dollars business (i.e. "baby food")!
So I think we are lucky indeed.
I feel sorry for their babies (and their parents too). But if I hadn't read Gill Rapley's 2006 article perhaps as new parents our way of introducing solids would have been similar to theirs and to those of the generations of "mainstream public", and would have reproduced many eating problems too.
After all, this "mainstream" way of feeding babies is being actively promoted by numerous books, companies and "professionals" EVERYDAY (nowadays I often bracket the word "professional" because you know) and is a billion-dollars business (i.e. "baby food")!
So I think we are lucky indeed.
Suggested ways to eat out in a Chinese restaurant
FYI:
Peanut oil is not allergenic to peanut-sensitive individuals.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7299001
Randomised, double blind, crossover challenge study of allergenicity of peanut oils in subjects allergic to peanuts
http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/abstract/314/7087/1084
I guess it is because the allergen is always a protein but peanut oil is a fat. Peanut oil as used in catering should not cause an allergic reaction unless it is crude or cold-pressed which retains many more proteins.
(but read the related articles in the above page too, as the study is a bit old now)
If you really want your DD [or DS] to try some Chinese dishes and you are worried;
- ask for some dishes that do not involve much sauce; esp. fermented red beancurd 南乳, tomato sauce 蕃茄醬, Chinese cheese or soybean cheese 腐乳, oyster sauce 蠔油, soy sauce 豉油, etc. as they contain lots of salt. Alternatively, ask them to put the sauce on a separate plate (汁另上).
- do not ask for dishes that involve stir-frying (炒) and esp. deep-frying (炸), as they involve more oil; (but stir-frying greens is tasty isn't it :-) ?)
- ask the cook to add less salt, "少鹽", no msg, "走味精".
- rinse the food you are going to offer to your DD [or DS] with a bowl of hot water first. This removes some of the salt, "msg" and oil (hopefully :wink: ).
I usually bring my own food (e.g. broccoli, baby corm, baby carrot, fruits, rice cakes, etc.) with me if taking DS to a Chinese restaurant, but you may let your DD [or DS] taste some white rice, steamed beancurd ("tofu" but not deep-fried beancurd), steamed mixed vegetables/ stir-fried mixed vegetables with less oil no salt thank you (炒雜菜少油走鹽謝謝), steamed fish and steamed chicken there. Steamed 蒸 food (with less or no sauce and salt) is usually quite eatable.
I hope this reply also helps others enjoy Chinese food and deserves more attention.
(If you cannot read the Chinese characters above, change your browser decoding setting to UTF-8)
tip: the highchairs provided in local Chinese restaurants in my city always do not contain safety seat belts - I don't know why. I always bring a luggage belt with us and tie DS on the highchair ;-).
Peanut oil is not allergenic to peanut-sensitive individuals.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7299001
Randomised, double blind, crossover challenge study of allergenicity of peanut oils in subjects allergic to peanuts
http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/abstract/314/7087/1084
I guess it is because the allergen is always a protein but peanut oil is a fat. Peanut oil as used in catering should not cause an allergic reaction unless it is crude or cold-pressed which retains many more proteins.
(but read the related articles in the above page too, as the study is a bit old now)
If you really want your DD [or DS] to try some Chinese dishes and you are worried;
- ask for some dishes that do not involve much sauce; esp. fermented red beancurd 南乳, tomato sauce 蕃茄醬, Chinese cheese or soybean cheese 腐乳, oyster sauce 蠔油, soy sauce 豉油, etc. as they contain lots of salt. Alternatively, ask them to put the sauce on a separate plate (汁另上).
- do not ask for dishes that involve stir-frying (炒) and esp. deep-frying (炸), as they involve more oil; (but stir-frying greens is tasty isn't it :-) ?)
- ask the cook to add less salt, "少鹽", no msg, "走味精".
- rinse the food you are going to offer to your DD [or DS] with a bowl of hot water first. This removes some of the salt, "msg" and oil (hopefully :wink: ).
I usually bring my own food (e.g. broccoli, baby corm, baby carrot, fruits, rice cakes, etc.) with me if taking DS to a Chinese restaurant, but you may let your DD [or DS] taste some white rice, steamed beancurd ("tofu" but not deep-fried beancurd), steamed mixed vegetables/ stir-fried mixed vegetables with less oil no salt thank you (炒雜菜少油走鹽謝謝), steamed fish and steamed chicken there. Steamed 蒸 food (with less or no sauce and salt) is usually quite eatable.
I hope this reply also helps others enjoy Chinese food and deserves more attention.
(If you cannot read the Chinese characters above, change your browser decoding setting to UTF-8)
tip: the highchairs provided in local Chinese restaurants in my city always do not contain safety seat belts - I don't know why. I always bring a luggage belt with us and tie DS on the highchair ;-).
Re: Facebook and breast feeding photos
What a shame. Breastfeeding is one of the most beautiful things in the world.
Will they also ban bottlefeeding photos? Why not?
Will they also ban bottlefeeding photos? Why not?
Iron
If you doubt whether your older baby gets enough iron from breastmilk alone, I think your question was reasonable, as the strongest "official" rationale for introducing solids after 6 months is the alleged "inadequate iron" in breastmilk at some point after six months (this is difficult to refute), and meat and fish is one of the easiest ways for babies to increase their iron intake (chicken and fish is the third group of first foods recommended by LLL:
http://www.llli.org/FAQ/firstfoods.html
). However if your baby thrives as you mentioned you should not be too concerned.
I give DS strips or bits of chicken and fish in several ways: preloaded chopsticks (mentioned in previous posts) or preloaded spoons; or spread in congee (or your porridge) and macaroni; or just let DS grasp the strips (recently). If I knew how to make pizzas I would definitely spread into them too. I never consider myself doing any "trick" because this is also the usual way I eat meat and fish. By the way, DS loves chicken and fish! (But I always tell him "this is fish congee", "this is chicken macaroni")
Besides meat and fish, you may also try egg yolk. It is also an excellent source of iron (and other nutrients). Of course some vegetables, beans, dried fruits and algae are good sources of iron too (when eating together with Vitamin C [i.e. fresh fruits and steamed vegetables]).
p.s. DS is still breastfed 6~7 times a day + 2 or 3 "meals".
http://www.llli.org/FAQ/firstfoods.html
). However if your baby thrives as you mentioned you should not be too concerned.
I give DS strips or bits of chicken and fish in several ways: preloaded chopsticks (mentioned in previous posts) or preloaded spoons; or spread in congee (or your porridge) and macaroni; or just let DS grasp the strips (recently). If I knew how to make pizzas I would definitely spread into them too. I never consider myself doing any "trick" because this is also the usual way I eat meat and fish. By the way, DS loves chicken and fish! (But I always tell him "this is fish congee", "this is chicken macaroni")
Besides meat and fish, you may also try egg yolk. It is also an excellent source of iron (and other nutrients). Of course some vegetables, beans, dried fruits and algae are good sources of iron too (when eating together with Vitamin C [i.e. fresh fruits and steamed vegetables]).
p.s. DS is still breastfed 6~7 times a day + 2 or 3 "meals".
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