《明報》訪問的未發表內容

《明報》6月14日對我的訪問，由於篇幅所限，有部份內容未能刊登，但我覺得記者顏小姐問了些很有意思的問題，經她的同意，在下面發表： 

        1. 當全職爸爸照顧2名子女，最辛苦、難適應的事是什麼？

像大部份男性一樣，我之前在傳統性別分工的環境下養大，小時從來不做家務。碰巧，兒子還是個嬰兒時，是個「高需求寶寶」 (high-need baby)，性情很剛烈 (intense)，很難帶，夜晚很難入睡和睡得熟，試過每小時醒來一次，而我也是同樣有強烈自我意志的人。我花了很多時間去處理他的睡眠問題，我的揍仔網誌早期很多文章都是關於他的睡眠的，及我在當中的自我再認識。那時基本上每天都想放棄博士論文，因為有時一天睡眠可能不足四小時，實在太辛苦了。

女兒出生時，兒子已差不多三歲，能一覺睡到天亮，而囡囡又遠較哥哥好訓。當然，我對育嬰已較先前有經驗，在解決嬰兒睡眠問題方面，在親密育兒(Attachment Parenting) 和睡眠訓練 (Sleep Training)中找到一個偏向前者而又適合自己和BB的平衡點 。可是，還要兼顧學業，近年還要晚上備課為兼職教書，壓力其實非常巨大 (雖然育兒基本上是件快樂的事)，現在回想起來，不可思議。幸好有婆婆和嫲嫲輪流幫忙，在我外出教書時照顧囡囡。


2.得知你在最初做全職爸爸的2年，聘請了家務助理做[大人的]飯，那時才開始學烹調，為何不考慮一直由家務助理做飯？

我有一個奇怪的想法。我認為不懂做飯的成人，無論學歷有多高，基本上在成長上是不算最完全的，因為做飯是一門最基本和最重要的生活技能。香港的中產家庭聘請女傭很普遍，這在很多先進外國可能是匪夷所思。這當然不是要所有成人成為家中的廚師或營養師 (港人工時全世界最長，生活指數又高，聘請外傭然後父母外出工作無可厚非)；但若只懂煮即食麵的人，親力親為試試做飯這種高技能工作，可能比很多外面的受氣工作更有滿足感。

順便一提，有時到朋友家中吃飯，享用他們聘請的外傭所烹調的菜餚時，雖然我必會感謝主人家的邀請，但我總會走去他們的廚房，向他們的外傭親自道謝。


3.你現時最拿手烹調什麼？哪數個港式家常小菜你最常煮？

港式家常小菜。我也不知道算不算拿手，但家人愛吃。其實煮那些人餸, 要看季節天氣、當造蔬菜、食物寒熱性質、家人身體狀況等而定。舉例，若小朋友感冒初癒，會整清蒸鮮魚、清炒菜心、煲粥。又若家人近來燥火，則少煎 (我從來不炸)，少溫熱食物 (如牛、雞、蝦)，和不加薑和辣椒炒等。有時個晚想食全素，會用豆 (如紅腰豆、雞心豆)代替肉。

太太特別愛吃梅子蒸排骨、金針雲耳或北菇蒸雞、酸甜雞柳、西芹腰果雞丁和節瓜蝦米粉絲； 囝囝特別愛吃煎雞翼、鮮茄洋蔥煎豬扖、鮮茄炒蛋、炆蘿蔔魚蛋和咖喱南瓜磨菇；囡囡則特別愛吃清蒸鮮魚和喝所有湯類。另外他們全都愛吃我的白汁西蘭花吞拿魚粟米松子仁螺絲粉和波蘿雞粒提子乾炒飯。


4. 你會很關注食物的健康與營養嗎？例如，我知道你會選用有機的蔬果、帶兒子到農場。

帶兒子到農場是想讓小朋友明白農夫的辛勞和珍惜食物。我認為應要向小朋友提供多樣化的健康食物，包括均衡的營養、和只用極少量的鹽和糖調味。我會盡量用有機的材料 (如麵粉)，部份食物有時也是有機的(如雞蛋、豆腐、蔬菜、調味湯料、蘋果等)或本地的(如蔬菜)、走地或無加入激素的(雞、豬) (後補: 我們也會購買公平貿易產品) ， 不過若所有食物都是有機，開支會很昂貴，不是我這個收入的家庭負擔得的來的，所以只能盡量做，和減省花在自己的身上的開支了 (基本上我是個很慳儉的人:-)。

我為小朋友預備了一周的日間菜單 (晚飯每日與太太商量，有時也問囝囝意見)，大致上每一至兩星期重覆一次，每天每餐不同，這樣小朋友不但吃得健康，也不會悶。我每天也不用費煞思量，一星期前已選購好所需材料，也不需要像兒童食譜般把食物弄到吸引小朋友的有趣形狀。

不同種類的五穀有不同的營養素，我的小朋友一周吃到的主糧，包括糙米白米飯、全麥饅頭、半麥麵包、粟米、薯仔(連皮)、燕麥皮、蕎麥麵、黑麥餅等。以前我還會用小米+印弟安麥+糙米+白米+五色豆煲粥，現在懶了許多 :-)。

順便一提，我和囝囝囡囡日間基本上是蛋奶素食的，我們也盡量減少對乳製品的依賴，如於早餐時以果仁醬和磨碎的種子和午晚餐以豆腐去代替肉類蛋白，及以燕麥奶、豆腐、豆漿、黑芝麻、綠葉菜等去代替乳製品提供鈣質等。

我們很多食物都是自家製的 (雖然花點時間，但其實慳錢)，例如:

• 自製鬆餅 (一次整好一大堆然後急涷)、曲奇
• 自製麵包PIZZA
• 自製乳酪
• 自製麵包和蛋榚(用麵包機), 但我們也會在小店買無防腐劑的麵包。
• 用攪拌機喝鮮果汁(果肉連汁加水一起攪, 其實是「吃」流質生果，連纖維一起喝)
• 不買市售班戟 (Pancake) 粉, 自己調蛋漿

(以前有自己包餃子和自製有機豆漿的, 現在太忙，沒有了......)

購買包裝食物時(如作為早餐)，我會細心檢查它們的成份標籤，盡量減少可能損害BB健康的添加劑 (特別是防腐劑、人造味道和人造色素) 和過多的鈉 (>600mg/100g) 和糖 (>15g/100g)。其實我會偏向低鈉 (<=120mg/100g) 和低糖食物/飲料的(<=5g/100g).

我盡量不讓BB吃到味精、高鹽、炸油、反式脂肪、基因改造和垃圾食物(如美式快餐店的部份食物) (有時外出只能自備食物)。


5. 子女最愛吃你煮的什麼小食、菜？

哈，囝囝 (四歲)乜都食，尤其生果和蔬菜，他每天食五份蔬果，不偏食，我很高興。囡囡 (快歲半) 則愛吃豬肉和雞肉、魚、青菜(剪碎撈飯)、豆類、意粉/通粉/黑芝麻撈飯，「啐」雞脾啐得津津有味 (肉汁含豐富鐵質)。生果則目前只愛橙和香蕉。

我有一個理論: 每個小朋友的生長速度不同，若自出生後向小朋友提供 (不是填餵) 均衡的健康食物，他們會根據自己的體質和需要自行調節所需的各類營養素的量 (就像其他哺乳類動物一樣)。我的囡囡是自出生起便是體型屬偏小和偏輕(即胃口小)的那類 (體重曾經只有3個百分位，囝囝則曾經高達97個百分位，性格體型各有特色 ;-)，所以她需要吸收營養最濃縮的食物 (高卡路里但體積少)，故此她愛奶類 (豆奶、燕麥奶、人奶)、肉(汁)/蛋黃(含豐富鐵質)和粉/飯(含豐富澱粉質)，不太愛纖維多、飽肚但營養不夠的水果 (橙汁和蕉例外，因為橙汁的維他命C可令植物性食物[如綠葉菜 /乾果/豆腐]的鐵質更易吸收，蕉則含豐富澱粉質)。到她長大後，我相信她會改變她的喜好的。

嬰兒主導戒奶的相片 Photos of Baby-led Weaning

Perhaps I was the first one in Hong Kong to introduce the Baby-led Weaning approach (please read my previous posts). My son is now four years old, and my daughter is one year and a half.  Both were offered finger foods when they were six or seven month old, and were almost never spoon-fed. They always feed themselves. My wife and I have been accustomed to the curious eyes of others when eating out with our kids.

當我成功為囝囝和囡囡引入固體食物時，我不是使用傳統的方法，即用匙羹餵 BB 食糊狀食物 (如粥仔)。除了四年前的一兩盒外，我再也沒有買過那些標誌著「嬰兒食物」(Baby food) 的盒裝或樽裝食物 。兩個孩子都是採用「嬰兒主導戒奶」法引入固體食物，以下是一些舊相片。

我現在的囝囝 (四歲) 和囡囡 (歲半)，自己食得好好，從來不需人餵，可自行進食。他們自六七個月大開始，已經和家人同枱用餐。

關於「 嬰兒主導戒奶」法，請參考這篇文章： 《從母乳餵哺到由嬰兒主導戒奶》

Flickr 上的相片集 Baby-led weaning - DS 與 DD。

French Toast

French Toast. Now DS's breakfast on every Friday morning.

Thick slices of day-old french bread deeply soaked in custard batter (milk + egg + vanilla + cinnamon + salt), brown slightly in a pan, and then baked. Serve with maple syrup and carrot and apple juice.

Trust me, this is healthier and more delicious than "HK-style French Toast".

On Soy Milk

This morning breakfast DS played with his cup of soy milk again and half of the content was poured on the floor. At first I was a bit angry (well, after eleven months of baby-led weaning I expect him to have some table manners), but immediately I thought of a good way to handle the situation.

Because I wanted him to know the intrinsic value of maintaining a clean floor without blaming him, when I unfastened him from the high chair, I told him that why pouring the milk on the floor was wrong and asked him to wipe the dirt with a cloth, WITH me. As expected, DS was willing to comply, and we made a good wash. DS didn't want to stop wiping!

Yes, my method might be considered a mild consequence from a "discipline" model, but it was also a meaningful activity which was appreciated, done and shared by us together. By reminding myself that we should always be on the same side, hopefully I can determine the real priorities in our shared lives, and can avoid the problem of punishments and/or external rewards which both necessitate a top-down pushing/ coaxing/ coercive approach that is always distrustful of a child's own abilities and motivations.

On Homemade Porridge

One of my favourite time-to-spare breakfasts to make at home is porridge. I usually start with organic oat flakes, and add the following during or after cooking: chopped soaked dried apricots or raisins, oat milk powder, almond powder, freshly ground sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds, an grated apple or pear, etc. I usually spend 30~40 minutes preparing for this recipe (very long compared with other breakfasts ideas). The porridge contains a lot of healthy nutrients (good fats, iron and calcium, among others) and is very delicious.

You must be thinking that my DS has always been loving this great food made by his at-home dad.

To the contrary, he almost always screamed whenever I was making it. He cried when he heard the sound of the mill (when finely grinding the seeds). And he even became hysterical when he found that he could not enter the kitchen and saw what his dad was doing because the safety gate (which is being installed in the kitchen's entrance) was closed.

The worst thing was, when this intense child screamed, his equally intense father, who usually hadn't slept well the night before and who had just thought himself wholeheartedly spending half-an-hour in a very hot windowless kitchen making healthy good food for his beloved son, also found himself burning into the red zone and screaming at the kid. Then a vicious circle reinforced itself which scared both of us.

Well, you may have noticed that I used the past tense for the last two paragraphs. Yes, I still make porridge as breakfasts, once or twice a week, but DS has stopped behaving like the above way for several months. I think I have learned some important lessons to keep us both cool.

Now I seldom operate the mill. In case I must use it, I will bring DS to the kitchen, put my hands over his shoulders, and watch together with him how the mill is processing. In this way, he can observe the functions of the mill, not just hearing some very annoying strange sound without knowing where it came from. If he is still a bit frightened, I will switch off the mill this time and not grind any dry ingredients, or do this only when he is being distracted (by a toy for example), or when the white noise of the range hood is loud enough to mask the sound of the mill.

But the most "revolutionary" move I've done may have been to open the safety gate, to allow DS to come to the kitchen (only when I am also there too), and to let him touch virtually everything there (except of course the stove, the hot oil/ boiling water, the sharp tools, the breakables and the cleaning chemicals). Although the time of cooking is inevitably lengthened (and I have to keep my left eye on DS when my right eye is monitoring the cooking process), this superficial inconvenience is completely negligible considering the happy smile in his face when he is watching, smelling, tasting, touching and learning the properties of things in the kitchen (every one of them is interesting him)- the uncooked ingredients, the liquids, the utensils, etc.

Shortly he will also help his father prepare food.

DS stills eat only a little homemade porridge - perhaps more if he is very hungry. I don't mind that any more - I have become more aware of my own bodily cues, my gut feeling and my inner irrational messages (about what a child SHOULD BEHAVE), and of the need to keep breathing and manging my own intensity in a constructive way. I am still learning to improve myself (and to let go), and I hope that one day DS will learn how to live positively with his strong emotions too.

DS was on the radio!

DW and I (shamefacedly) talked about parenting on RTHK Radio 2. The topics covered included: breastfeeding, babywearing, baby-led weaning, continuum parenting and social participation, discipline, etc. The program was broadcast on 26th 8:00pm: http://www.rthk.org.hk/rthk/radio2/89/20090626.html

La Leche League newsletter

After my photo of DW's breastfeeding lying down became the cover picture of La Leche League Asia Newsletter (Vol.9 No.2 2008), I am so glad to know that my article "From Breastfeeding to Baby-led Weaning" will also be published in an coming issue of LLL Chinese newsletter. I hope I can make more contribution to the breastfeeding movement!

從母乳餵哺到由嬰兒主導戒奶

(本文亦刊於《國際母乳會中文會刊 2009年第二期》及《香港母乳育嬰協會2009 年8 月季刊》﹞

「這天，十五個月大的新仔的胃口不錯。與爸爸一起吃的早餐，吃的是最愛的牛油果﹝夾在花生醬黑麥三文治裡)、小半隻香蕉和少許豆漿。

下午的點心是忌廉芝士有機糙米餅，用飲管杯喝開水。

像 過去幾個月一樣，今天的晚餐也是和爸爸媽媽同桌吃飯。新仔用咖啡匙吃了兩口白飯後，便用手指快速地拾吃了一握量的小雞丁﹝喔，他很愛吃白肉哩)。雖然新仔 剛滿一歲便懂得握叉和匙，但用手吃還是快得多。期間，還吃了兩小朵西蘭花和一塊紅蘿蔔。當他開始把玩高腳椅托盤上的餐具和食物時，媽媽趕快把它們拿走，並 遞上一小碗魚湯，讓新仔拿著小湯匙自行餵飲。飯後的水果時間，新仔用小鋼叉吃了一小碗全脂乳酪橙粒‧‧‧‧‧‧

雖然新仔食飯時經常弄髒頭 髮和衣服，有時也會因為出牙、疲倦和生病等原因心情和胃口欠佳，可是爸媽對他自行進食的能力(包括自我決定進食的量和種類)很有信心。況且，在正餐和小食 之間，新仔還繼續從媽媽身上得到最保障健康的母乳的補充，故此爸媽從不擔心他的營養。他們的理想，是盡量跟隨世界衛生組織的指引，自兒子六個月大後引進固 體食物起，讓母乳餵哺可持續至最少兩歲。」

和很多父母一樣，當BB六個月大時，我們本來打算跟隨主流的做法， 用匙羹餵BB吃糊狀食物。可是，花去整整一個月的時間、流了不少眼淚，無論匙上的是什麼﹝包括以母乳開稀的米糊、麥糊、果茸、菜茸等﹞，BB的反應不是緊 閉雙唇，就是立即把入口的食物吐出。我們開始焦急了：是否應像很多家長一樣，早在 BB三四個月大時就餵食，不理會敏感風險？BB會否永不接受固體食物？我們是否要像某位護士的建議，剛開始引入固體食物時便排在餵母奶前，不顧BB的需 要，「迫」BB因肚餓而接受？

可是，當我們夫婦倆吃飯時，當時這個已滿六個月大的BB，明顯地已不再滿足於只是坐在高腳椅上把玩玩具了，他要模仿我們把手上的食物放進口中！對我們來說，孩子已準備好接受固體食物了。參與成人世界多采多姿的生活，應該是一個愛探索的正常孩子的成長原動力吧。

既 然孩子已滿六個月大(我們的BB五個月時已能坐好)，他的消化系統和腎臟功能應該比四個月時的好，食物致敏的機會亦減少(除非有家族敏感史)，我們索性參 考英國衛生署的最新指引，直接向BB提供手指食物(讓BB用牙肉咬嚼)，讓BB慢慢學習咀嚼食物和手部控制，並與我們同桌吃飯。起初是較軟的食物：牛油 果、香蕉和蒸腍了的西蘭花朵、番薯和薯仔。經過四個月的練習，未到一歲，孩子已差不多和我們吃著同類的食物了(除了小部份對他可能致敏和有毒的食物如牛 肉、牛奶、貝殼類、蛋白、酸果、蜜糖等)：各種水果(切開一片片或整個地提供 [開始出牙後]如蘋果)、剪碎了的綠葉菜葉(在白飯中拌勻)、各類瓜菜、蒸腍了的小粟米、小甘筍、肉類如魚肉和雞肉、蛋黃、豆腐、五穀類如白飯/粥(加入 少許糙米)、加入全穀或黑麥粉的白麵方包、低鈉低糖餅乾、通心粉、剪短的意粉、乾穀和煮熟的燕麥片等。

我們盡量希望每餐或每天的菜式中也 能提供均衡的營養。為了孩子日後的口味和健康，烹飪時我們只用極少量的鹽和糖調味(從大人的菜餚中分取BB的部份後，才添加醬油到前者中)；購買包裝食物 時(如作為早餐)，我們會細心檢查它們的成份標籤，確保沒有可能損害BB健康的添加劑和過多的鈉和糖。每星期一兩次的外出吃飯，除了只幫襯那些對BB安全 的食肆環境，還不讓BB吃到味精、高鹽、炸油和反式脂肪 (有時只能自備食物)。

為了安全起見，我們確保BB進食時坐直身子、不向他提供 細硬(如果仁、果核)或細圓的食物(如每粒提子會先切開最少兩半)以免鯁喉；避開魚骨；不提供易粘住的全白麵包，並只薄塗果仁醬。最初我們把食物切成BB 可用整個拳頭握著的塊狀讓他咬和嚼一點 (或吸吮肉塊的汁)，到BB能用手指拾起(pincer grasp)食物時才切粒，流質食物則在BB願意接受幫助時才提供預載食物的匙羹，讓BB自行拿著。進食時必把電視關掉以免BB分心 (其實我們從不讓他看電視)、不讓BB獨個兒或走動時進食；並且克制要填餵BB的衝動，以免不小心把食物送至BB口腔太後的部位(而BB又已無法透過作嘔 反射保護自己)。

在英國有超過20年保健視察員經驗的拉普利（Gill Rapley）把家長在引進固體食物時索性讓嬰兒自行餵食的做法(類似上述)歸納為「由嬰兒主導戒奶」(Baby-led Weaning)。根據拉普利的觀察，這個方法讓BB接觸和嘗試不同顏色、形狀、體積和質感的食物，與匙餵法比較起來，嬰兒對食物的興趣大增，更容易接受 一些要咀嚼的食物、減少便秘和日後偏食的機會，並使BB發展手部控制能力。當BB進食更多固體食物時，要求的奶量便會自然減少，過程由BB主導(或頂多由 BB和大人的共同主導)，慢慢完成整個引入固體食物的過渡期。

現在回想起來，我們的方法適合自己的BB，除了因為他似乎天生是一個衝動 的性情兒外，還可能因為母乳餵哺本身就與嬰兒被動的接受餵食不太相襯。嬰兒在母乳餵哺中，是主動地依據自己的需要吸吮母乳的(如透過控制吸吮的時間來平衡 前乳和後乳的比例)。而母乳因母親的飲食產生不同味道，又令嬰兒日後容易接受不同的固體食物。可以說，由嬰兒主導減奶是母乳餵哺的合理發展，後者為前者提 供穩固的基礎。

現在BB已經十五個月大(十個月起已開始走路)，已進入人稱「嘴刁」階段的幼兒期了。讓嬰兒主導減奶的思想再次提醒我們， 不以食物作為賞罰或逗哄的手段，尊重和信任BB自我進食的需要、意願和能力(大人的責任是提供健康和多樣化的食物和示範正確的用餐規矩)，可能是保持進食 作為一種饒有趣味的家庭/ 社交活動、避免進食時間淪為父母和孩子的角力場的有效方法。


註：

1. 這篇文章是打算投稿到某支持母乳餵哺的刊物中發表，故嘗試整理母乳餵哺與由嬰兒主導戒奶之間的理論關係，並不表示作者認為以配方奶粉餵養嬰兒必然不適合這種戒奶方法。

2. 「Weaning」是指引入固體食物到完全離乳的過渡期，一般譯作「戒奶」、「斷奶」。可是，理想的Weaning應是指一個漸進而不是突變的過程，筆者 認為譯做「減奶」比較恰當。由於「戒奶」這個名詞在本地甚為流行，為方便讀者搜尋本文，標題沿用「戒奶」，但內文則兼用「減奶」、「戒奶」。



(圖片：新仔八個月大首次吃木瓜時的感動。攝影：筆者)


相關文章：期望香港，對母乳餵哺友善 ──寫在2008年母親節前夕

Related Website: Continuum Fathering 原續父職



答客問： 牛奶以外的選擇......
問：「既然餵人奶，其他牛奶食品可以減少乎？」

1 鮮牛奶：BB 一歲前，我們從沒有給他喝鮮牛奶 (所有嬰兒一歲前都不適合喝鮮牛奶，因鮮奶蛋白比配方奶粉更易致敏)。BB現在雖過了一歲，但也只「吃」過少量 (我視高熱量和高脂肪的鮮牛奶為食物 )──用來加入炒蛋、做粟米湯和拌粟米片，原因我懷疑(未能確定)他對鮮牛奶有少許敏感 (皮膚有輕微紅疹)。

人奶仍是BB的主要食物和飲料，其他時間我們是以清水 (大部份時間)、無糖 (市售) /有機(自造)豆漿、有機燕麥粉/杏仁粉開奶，或(一歲後) 溝稀了的橙汁給他喝的。

我個人不希望BB戒人奶後每天吃牛奶/奶粉 (就算他對牛奶無敏感)，因擔心蛋白質結構本來是給牛仔飲的牛奶的蛋白、脂肪和乳糖長遠對他這位人類的營養和健康有害。

2 含有牛奶成份的食品：BB 和我們外出吃飯，也吃過一些有牛奶成份的麵包和中式點心。不過，我們現在基本上已沒有再買集團式麵包店的麵包了 (那些除了用奶粉外，還勁多添加劑，而太多的添加劑[和電視]被認為與兒童過度活躍症有關)，改為用麵包機在家自製麵包 (只間中幫襯樓下的小麵包店的新鮮出爐麵包)，那樣便可以在食譜中用燕麥粉取代奶粉。

3 乳製品：BB對牛油 (沒有含致敏的蛋白)、芝士和乳酪(經過發酵)均無敏感，故我們也有用無添加鹽的牛油自製麵包、蛋榚、鬆餅和曲奇，和用牛油和忌廉芝士塗麵包和餅乾。乳酪是BB最喜愛的食物之一，我們每星期也在家中發酵乳酪給他吃(多是拌水果粒同吃)。


問：「牛奶太多化學物質，生產過程又要牛受苦，又要花費好多資源。」

唔‧‧‧‧‧‧ 這真是個難題。其實不只是牛奶，畜養出來供宰售的牲畜，吃進的飼料往往有農藥，又給強行餵了太多激素和抗生素，和自小忍受工廠式生產的惡劣環境。作為消費 者的徹底應對辦法，似乎不是改吃目前還是偏貴的有有機/人道認證肉 (我們試過買有機雞和蛋，但覺開支太大)，就是改為全素食(我們暫時未有足夠的營養知識[和勇氣]去這樣做──現在頂多是fishy-chicki- tarians)。我們現在的做法，是希望BB盡量多吃水果和蔬菜去均衡營養 (很多家長都有這樣的經驗：子女自小不愛[多]吃水果和[特別是]蔬菜)、並「間中」於早餐時以果仁醬和磨碎的種子和午晚餐以豆腐去代替肉類蛋白、以波菜 /乾果/豆腐等配合鮮果的維他命C去代替肉類提供鐵質和以燕麥奶、豆腐、豆漿、黑芝麻、杞子、綠葉菜等去代替乳製品提供鈣質。

From Breastfeeding to Baby-led Weaning

Chinese Title of the Original Article: 從母乳餵哺到由嬰兒主導戒奶
The following English version was translated by Google.

My top tips on Baby-Led Weaning

1. Remember eating is a social activity - so relax, eat together with your baby, talk to him/her, and don't just stare at him/her.

2. Always have a camera beside you to capture the decisive moment.

3. Let your lo offer you food or brush your teeth :wink:

Re: Milk and Calcium

Traditionally most people in this city relied on soya beans, tofu, greens, sesame, fish bones, small dried shrimps & fishes, seeds like fructus lycii, fig, etc. to provide calcium. Dairy products were considered very "luxury" and "Western" food.

Re: Show me the light!!!

1) How long should I wait after she has nursed to offer solids?

There is a saying that you should wait at least 20 minutes to prevent interference with the absorption of iron from breastmilk (esp if your lo is iron deficient). But I guess a lot of people are too eager to BLW so not many of them observe this!

I admit that we always try to but sometimes we can't (because you know life with a baby is always very rush).


2) How many times now shd I offer solids? once or twice or more??Shd I offer solids whenever I am having my meals (which is typically b/l/d)?

The theory is that you can get your lo sit & eat together with you whenever you have meals or snacks. But you may start gradually instead. The core thing is that food at this beginning stage is for exploration (i.e. mess!!!) not as sources of nutrition (perhaps except iron - but it depends.
We started with breakfast and lunch and later added an afternoon snack. Sometimes we omit a meal when really busy or DS naps late.


3) Should I start offering her water with her "meals"? I have bought her a straw cup.Do i offer her water in that or shd I help her drink from an open cup?

Yes you should offer her some water (whether she takes or not is another matter) whenever having solids to prevent constipation (but you may skip if time to breastfeeding is very near). Some people here taught their los to drink from a regular cup (wow!), some a straw cup, and others a sippy cup (e.g. me). DS just takes a few sips each time.


4) I know babies need to eat full fat stuff.What are the good fats that I can offer her? How much butter / ghee /cheese is okay to give on a toast?

healthy fats: olive oil, fish, avocado, nut butter (any allergy to peanut?), flax oil, etc.

Also don't forget saturated fats: yogurt, egg, butter, coconut oil, etc... Saturated fats are also good for babies (before 2 years)

According to Gill Rapley (the author of "BLW" (book)), everyday you can give a quarter of a baby-sized handful of healthy fats to a baby.


5) What type of cheese can I give her? We dont eat a lot of cheese so I have no idea about the types available .I sometimes make cheese/paneer at home using full fat milk.Could I give her that too?

Well, let other tell you because this is also my question (most cheese I can find contains a lot of sodium) (perhaps some brands of cream or cottage cheese are OK.)


6) Are eggs safe now?Can I give her an omelette?

The conservative guideline is that egg white after 12 months. Well it all depends on whether your lo is allergic to it. We gave the whole egg since the 9th month.


7) What type of rice would be good for her? I think I did read somewhere that brown short grain rice is better because it cooks softer. :?

The rice people in your country normally eat. You may fry or slightly overcook it to make it more easy to be grasped.


8) I understand that babies dont need a lot of fiber now.We are from India and I use whole wheat flour for making flatbreads( chapatis/rotis/parathas etc).Could I give her those flatbreads or do I make flatbreads using dough which has 50/50 whole wheat n refined flour?

Babies don't need too much insoluble fiber but still a lot of soluble fiber. So stay away from brans. Alternate between whole wheat bread and white bread or just don't use 100% whole wheat.

Re: Poo question!!

As far as I know, seeing bits of foods you gave to your lo in his or her poo is quite normal. Hsr digestive system needs time to adjust to the foods especially those containing lots of insoluble fiber.

People always think purees are easily digested. How do they know? Can they identify undigested purees from the poos?

Re: How I do BLW breakfast

I said I would report back if my "homemade baked beans" experiment is successful. OK, I have done it twice, and DS did pick up and eat a small portion each time because he didn't want to disappoint his PaPa who cooked badly.

I soaked a small cup of canelloni beans overnight, boiled them for 20 minutes and then put into a vaccum pot for 6 (or 8?) hours. The beans came out quite soft. For the sauce, I used chopped tomato, brown sugar, lemon juice, butter, vegetable stock, and a little water, and heated them until the sauce was quite concentrated. Then I stirred the sauce with the drained beans and heated everything again.

I am still experimenting different proportions of ingredients.

Next time I may try navy beans or soya beans instead, and may add onion, mustard and egg (and pork or bacon?).

(Warning: I've heard that anything acidic and salt [though I haven't used salt above] must never be added to the beans until the end for they will toughen the skins of beans and make them never get soft.)

Salt paranoia?

Tell you something: I am paranoia with salt (Perhaps no one in this forum is as serious as me :wink: )


Symptoms:

Irrationality and delusion:

I always check the sodium content of a packaged food (e.g. cereal, crackers, spread) in supermarket if I want DS to eat this. This means if the sodium level exceeds 100mg per 100Kcal of energy, I will not buy it (the less the better - I got this guideline from the local consumer council; your may check if your government suggests another. Gill Rapley suggests an easier set in her book: high-salt: >= 600mg Na per 100g of food; low-salt: <120mg Na per 100g of food.)

Salt level is the primary reason I bought a bread machine to homemake bread.

And it's the reason why I am hesitated to buy cheese and hummus spread sold on the market.

I am concerned about salt because the sodium levels of most adult food are too unhealthy high, but perhaps we have been used to it. Eating out always means too much salt is consumed unwittingly (1 level teaspoon = ~ 2400mg of sodium = ~ suggested max daily intake for adults = 6 times baby (0-12m) max daily intake = 3 times toddler (1-3) max daily intake) I don't want from the very beginning to make DS develop a "heavy" taste which will affect him lifelong.


Treatment:

You know, such delusions will kill me! Here are the ways I save myself from developing further into schizophrenia:

1. When eating at home, I try to make the food salt-free or as low as possible (or add salt only after taking out the portions for DS) (you can use spices or herbs etc. to replace salt)

2. I try to limit the frequency of eating out (I know that it's inescapble, but if we mostly eat at home I will reassure myself it doesn't matter too much for occassional eating-outs (+pray!)

3. Even with 2, I usually bring my own food for DS when eating out: like an apple or rice cakes without added salt, so in case the food on the menu is really not acceptable (I have to trust my tongue), DS also has something to eat.


Results:

After BLWing for 5 months I guess I am more relaxed now - Not because I have relaxed my standards but because I think I am more experienced in (used to) to select "better" food for all of us (I have never brought a notepad though). So I hope your worry doesn't deter you from enjoying BLW.

Straw cup

So good to know that some parents have successfully introduced a "normal" cup from start, wow! I wish I had done that.

Yesterday I successfully taught DS to use a straw cup - in 10 minutes. He loves it so much! But I am a bit worried he drinks too much too quick - reducing the appetite for breastmilk! ( I never worried this with the sippy cup)

Today, there comes another problem with the straw cup: Every time he sucked, he just sucked a lot of water in, and then splited it out without swallowing (with smiles!), wetting all his clothes (now it's cold winter). And he fought when I wanted to take the cup back.

Oh no! I wish I had never given him the cup!

Re: Meat (& dairy) and BLW?

Chicken was one of DS's first foods and now his favourite. We always steam-boil it until it's soft.

We usually offer chicken breasts (methods below) but I know many people give their los a leg bone because the meat there is less easy to fall off as tiny bits. But remember to remove any soft, splint or thin bones first.

We have tried the following methods

1. As meatballs (e.g. + potato, spinach, tofu, vegetable broth)

2. As bits (spread in congee (or porridge), macaroni, etc... [in preloaded spoons])

3. As strips (for being held by the fist)

4. As bite size pieces (only when the pincer grasp has appeared)

We have only offered beef and pork in method 4, after we are quite confident that DS can handle it.

DW has no history of allergies to dairy foods (but her brother does), but I am rather lactose intolerant in recent years. We have given DS butter (first in homemaking bread and then spread on bread and potato), and whole-fat yogurt (dipped by fruit sticks) at the 10th month. We haven't given cheese yet primary because most cheese we can find here contains a lot of sodium [>300mg per 100g food]. We will not give cow milk before 1 year. (Actually diary foods are not parts of our usual diets to obtain calcium and protein, so I'd like cow milk be avoided altogether as much as we can).

The culture in yogurt has modified cow milk and made it less allergenic, so I think that's why it is more acceptable than cow's milk.

Sippy cup

I had taught DS to use a sippy cup since the 4th month, but he really could master it in the 6~7th months.

The sippy cup he uses (and loves) is valve-free, hard sprout, with handles, and transparent. At that time I hadn't bought a soft sprout one to avoid possible nipple confusion (well perhaps I was too worried).

When DS did not tip the bottom up, I raised it a bit for him, so that he knew what he should have done to get the water down. Now he uses it like a pro!

And yes, we always offer the sippy cup whenever with solids to avoid constipation. But he never drinks (needs) more than 0.5 ounce each time (he is still breastfed frequently so no problem) .

Constipation

Babies' intestines may need time to adjust to solids. I know it's so sad that they (and you parents) can't sleep well because of this. Stop the food you think may contribute to their constipation for a while.

When we first started BLW, we only gave banana after DS had just pooed! But the rice cake (which causes constipation to many babies) is always his favourite and is friendly to his guts. I guess babies are all different.

Have you tried prune juice (1:3)? If it doesn't work, a very good nutritious natural laxative is flax oil. One teaspoon (spread in porridge or others) can make DS who usually poos every 10 days (but he is not constipated) pooled in 24 hrs.

We limit water to a sippy cup because DS is still breastfed quite frequently. We don't want "plenty of water" to decrease his appetite for bm.

The food we offer to him also includes some fiber (e.g. broccoli, whole grain cereal, fruits with skin) (but limit fiber for younger babies). We also give him "p" fruits regularly.

Re: veg then fruit?

I second the saying that breastmilk is so sweet it doesn't really matter whether vegetables come before fruits when introducing solids in babies. In addition, breastfed babies have already experienced different tastes from hsr mother's breastmilk. They are more likely to enjoy the different tastes of solids and be less picky.

Fruits were DS's first foods, but he still loves food with very mild taste (e.g. plain rice).