I am a SAHD. My DS (now 8 months) is also a high-need spirited (intense, sensitive and energetic) baby. I have never been successful to bottlefeed him (maybe I haven't tried enough), and he also resists spoon-feeding when now it is time for introducing solids. You may search my previous posts on this forum to know the difficulties I have encountered previously.
From day 1 I have shared parenting responsibilities with my DW, and I have become the main caregiver when my DW went back to work in the 5th month. I wear DS almost everyday for hours since his 2nd month, and DS naps excellently on my sling or mei tai (front-carry despite my thin chest). Despite the fact that DS should have developed a more solid relationship with me, when his mother went back to work I also experienced some very hard time: DS refused to co-sleep with me (when both of us were really really tired), and he could cry in my arms for an hour non-stopped until his mother returned. I felt very incompetent then.
However, I think this tough moment has passed. Although DW is still DS's primary subject of attachment (DS becomes very excited whenever his mother returns, something that I can only be jealous :-), he is now quite content with me, incl. carrying, eating together, playing, learning new skills, soothing for comfort and napping (co-sleeping) together. Today I just told my DW that I think DS fusses less when only I am with him! :-)
So my advice to your DH is: don't give up! Just take a deep breath, relax and be patient and forgiving and understanding. The difficult time will pass. At the moment, I will suggest him just continue to wear her often (and go out for a good walk everyday!), and be nurturing as much as he can (but don't take it too personal if she still resists - she needs time to adapt)- your DD will appreciate the difference your DH brings with him/to her eventually and he will enjoy the rewards then.
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