那晚, 媽媽要陪伴因驚厥而要入院的妹妹過夜，近半年習慣了晚上與媽媽共眠的新仔，很不開心。熄了睡房的大燈後，爸爸教新仔一起在床上打坐，閉上眼睛合十，懷著慈心，祈願媽媽和妹妹第二天可以平安回家。
果然，她們第二天下午就回到了家，新仔好高興。
第二晚，收到朋友的短訊，知道她的母親正在進行生死猶關的大手術。我們一家人合十，祝願伯母平安。今次，我們鼓勵新仔帶領祈願，新仔很認真地緊閉眼睛，緩緩地搖晃著小小的身體，溫柔的聲線，如泣如訴：「......A姨姨的媽媽......快D好番啦......醫院無玩具.....無書睇......無好野食......好慘架......你快D好番......番厔企啦......」
新仔不知道他閉上眼睛時, 他的爸爸聽得熱淚盈眶。
2012-01-31
地鐵讓座
(我和陳雲一樣，繼續稱呼地鐵為地鐵，火車為火車，而不是「港鐵」，因為地鐵和火車不是港鐵公司所發明和專利的，地鐵站和火車站不只是不同的人文地理觀念 (市區和郊區)，也是港人共同回憶的一部份，不應因合併 (吞併) 而抺去 [參考陳雲, 《明報》, 10/8/2010] )。
早前有位大陸兒童在香港地鐵進食引發陸港乘客罵戰，事件引起廣泛的爭議。
不過，筆者不是想評論當中的族群政治。今天我也想談地鐵，想談談「讓座」文化。
現時地鐵在大部份車卡，都會有一些優先座, 鼓勵乘客讓座予有需要人士，例如行動不便的長者、傷殘人士和抱小孩的家長。由於我是經常把寶寶揹在胸前就去街的人，寶寶加上背包可能重達廿多三十磅，達我的體重四份之一，所以每次其實都很想可以坐下來休息一下。
不過，大部份時間，當我走向坐滿乘客的優先座前，沒有多少人會自動自覺讓座：有少數人睡著了，有些忙著聽音樂，有些只顧著打機、玩iPhone 和 iPad，所以他們可能根本不知我的存在。不過，更多的則只是望我一眼，像沒有事情發生。
或許他們太累? 或許因為尷尬，怕我會拒絕他們的幫忙? 或者覺得反正有人/沒有人會讓座，自己多一事不如少一事？
不記得有多少次，要鼓氣勇氣，主動走向乘客面前說：「唔該，我揹著BB， 請讓座給我」，才有座位。
當然不是所有乘客都是冷漠的，有時有些乘客，還是會主動讓座給我，每次我都會表示感激。我留意到，這些讓座給我的乘客，以中年女性居多，其他年齡和性別的，不是沒有，卻是比例上遠少。而記憶之中，暫時沒有穿校服的中學生 (通常最少兩人同坐傾偈) 讓過座給我。
而差不多每次都會主動讓座的人，幾乎全都是外國遊客。
不止是揹著寶寶的我獲如此的對待，當日腹大便便的太太，也一樣試過沒有人讓座，有次我壓抑著怒意 (因為我覺得，這是孕婦的權利，因為孕婦在進行中的車廂內不坐下, 會很危險)，開聲請求其中一位乘客讓出座位。一位朋友「大肚」時也有類似的經歷，
又有一次，當時我已經揹著寶寶坐下來，有位滿頭白髮的老婆婆在通道上站了許久，等了很耐，同樣沒有人讓座。我像平時沒揹寶寶般，起身示意讓座給她，結果有其他乘客不好意思, 把座位讓給她。我承認這樣做是為了故意使其他乘客尷尬，但真的不知應該怎麼辦。
我平時幾乎不用嬰兒車，只在去海洋公園時才使用。那些在車卡內貼上標誌、讓嬰兒車和輪椅使用者優先使用的空間，每每在挨竿上面挨滿了人，很多時我都要主動要求人讓位給嬰兒車，有些人還只是象徵式地把腳縮回了一點。有時心裡有氣: 這個空間是只給人挨屁股的嗎?
我是一個性格很主動的人，所以很多時揹著寶寶最後都會爭取到座位，但一些較為內向而有需要的人，所得到的關注會否更少?
有時，真的有些想放棄，揹著寶寶一走進車卡，便馬上企在車門旁挨著玻璃，因為不想再失望，也不想多費唇舌。
不過，我總會叮囑自己緊記，在這個功利、四處鼓吹自顧的社會，還是會有些乘客，會主動地體恤和幫助有需要的人。既然我遇過一些，我們社會總體來說一定還有很多。希望我的兒女，將來也會是這樣的人。
早前有位大陸兒童在香港地鐵進食引發陸港乘客罵戰，事件引起廣泛的爭議。
不過，筆者不是想評論當中的族群政治。今天我也想談地鐵，想談談「讓座」文化。
現時地鐵在大部份車卡，都會有一些優先座, 鼓勵乘客讓座予有需要人士，例如行動不便的長者、傷殘人士和抱小孩的家長。由於我是經常把寶寶揹在胸前就去街的人，寶寶加上背包可能重達廿多三十磅，達我的體重四份之一，所以每次其實都很想可以坐下來休息一下。
不過，大部份時間，當我走向坐滿乘客的優先座前，沒有多少人會自動自覺讓座：有少數人睡著了，有些忙著聽音樂，有些只顧著打機、玩iPhone 和 iPad，所以他們可能根本不知我的存在。不過，更多的則只是望我一眼，像沒有事情發生。
或許他們太累? 或許因為尷尬，怕我會拒絕他們的幫忙? 或者覺得反正有人/沒有人會讓座，自己多一事不如少一事？
不記得有多少次，要鼓氣勇氣，主動走向乘客面前說：「唔該，我揹著BB， 請讓座給我」，才有座位。
當然不是所有乘客都是冷漠的，有時有些乘客，還是會主動讓座給我，每次我都會表示感激。我留意到，這些讓座給我的乘客，以中年女性居多，其他年齡和性別的，不是沒有，卻是比例上遠少。而記憶之中，暫時沒有穿校服的中學生 (通常最少兩人同坐傾偈) 讓過座給我。
而差不多每次都會主動讓座的人，幾乎全都是外國遊客。
不止是揹著寶寶的我獲如此的對待，當日腹大便便的太太，也一樣試過沒有人讓座，有次我壓抑著怒意 (因為我覺得，這是孕婦的權利，因為孕婦在進行中的車廂內不坐下, 會很危險)，開聲請求其中一位乘客讓出座位。一位朋友「大肚」時也有類似的經歷，
又有一次，當時我已經揹著寶寶坐下來，有位滿頭白髮的老婆婆在通道上站了許久，等了很耐，同樣沒有人讓座。我像平時沒揹寶寶般，起身示意讓座給她，結果有其他乘客不好意思, 把座位讓給她。我承認這樣做是為了故意使其他乘客尷尬，但真的不知應該怎麼辦。
我平時幾乎不用嬰兒車，只在去海洋公園時才使用。那些在車卡內貼上標誌、讓嬰兒車和輪椅使用者優先使用的空間，每每在挨竿上面挨滿了人，很多時我都要主動要求人讓位給嬰兒車，有些人還只是象徵式地把腳縮回了一點。有時心裡有氣: 這個空間是只給人挨屁股的嗎?
我是一個性格很主動的人，所以很多時揹著寶寶最後都會爭取到座位，但一些較為內向而有需要的人，所得到的關注會否更少?
有時，真的有些想放棄，揹著寶寶一走進車卡，便馬上企在車門旁挨著玻璃，因為不想再失望，也不想多費唇舌。
不過，我總會叮囑自己緊記，在這個功利、四處鼓吹自顧的社會，還是會有些乘客，會主動地體恤和幫助有需要的人。既然我遇過一些，我們社會總體來說一定還有很多。希望我的兒女，將來也會是這樣的人。
2012-01-28
Convulsion
Last evening, DD (our baby girl) suddenly had a convulsion (seizures and loss of consciousness due to unknown reasons) and DW immediately took her to the hospital and stayed there overnight. I was guilty unable to accompany them, as DS was having a fever and I had to prepare materials for the lecture in the following day.
Both kids are fine and they are now sleeping well. We had a difficult moment last evening - DD's condition was scary and we had a moment of feeling like we were losing her, but fortunately we (at least I :-) were not panic. Since her convulsion was not associated with fever and the blood test results were normal (not, e.g. meningitis) we still wondered why she suddenly lost consciousness. We only know that she had sudden abnormal discharge of electrical current in the brain.
Yet, both the doctor and we suspect that she has epilepsy, but it can only be confirmed by brain scan which will be conducted in a public hospital later. And we know that if this happens again, we need to place her safely on the floor and protect her from bumping into the ground. It may be a blessing in disguise, because Socrates, Caesar, Napoleon, the composer G. Gershwin, the singer Prince, and Beethoven and Newton were all said to have epilepsy :-)
Both kids are fine and they are now sleeping well. We had a difficult moment last evening - DD's condition was scary and we had a moment of feeling like we were losing her, but fortunately we (at least I :-) were not panic. Since her convulsion was not associated with fever and the blood test results were normal (not, e.g. meningitis) we still wondered why she suddenly lost consciousness. We only know that she had sudden abnormal discharge of electrical current in the brain.
Yet, both the doctor and we suspect that she has epilepsy, but it can only be confirmed by brain scan which will be conducted in a public hospital later. And we know that if this happens again, we need to place her safely on the floor and protect her from bumping into the ground. It may be a blessing in disguise, because Socrates, Caesar, Napoleon, the composer G. Gershwin, the singer Prince, and Beethoven and Newton were all said to have epilepsy :-)
2012-01-27
故技重施?
[...]
朋友問我會否重操故業 (政策研究)。不會了。一個我很少提及的原因, 是因為我揍小朋友的經驗。全職揍仔當然是件很難脫身的工作, 別說外出開會，連在家靜心寫文都無時間 (要強調「靜心」兩個字) ──而社運圈內能理解這種困難的人竟然出奇地少。另一方面, 全職揍仔的經驗對我整個人的人生/生命/生活觀有很大的影響。每天和我談話的人, 是「師奶」、街市小販、樓下保安員和菲傭 (他們不知道我曾是一名政策研究員); 我看的圖書, 是最精彩的兒童繒本；我上開的網站, 都是關於Child Education, health and nutrition。四年的全職育兒經驗, 我開始疏遠(甚至有點討厭) 抽象的符號遊戲，愛上實幹的第一線勞動生活，精神上與「天父」(我的先父，曾做廚師和水電工人) 和工匠的相往來；甚至鄙視一些閉門造車、不做田野工作而又為社會不公義塗脂抹粉的社會學學究。所以心態上，我現在對「回到從前」的那種所謂「出山」，很有抗拒。
雖然如此，我發現現在可能比較適合我的受薪「職業」，乃人之患。而前排和稍後都會兼職從事社會政策的教育工作。像未閉關前一樣，參與一些分享會，如果題目時間地點對象 (和報酬 :-)合適，也會樂意奉陪。[...]
原文
My profile and my past lectures/seminars
朋友問我會否重操故業 (政策研究)。不會了。一個我很少提及的原因, 是因為我揍小朋友的經驗。全職揍仔當然是件很難脫身的工作, 別說外出開會，連在家靜心寫文都無時間 (要強調「靜心」兩個字) ──而社運圈內能理解這種困難的人竟然出奇地少。另一方面, 全職揍仔的經驗對我整個人的人生/生命/生活觀有很大的影響。每天和我談話的人, 是「師奶」、街市小販、樓下保安員和菲傭 (他們不知道我曾是一名政策研究員); 我看的圖書, 是最精彩的兒童繒本；我上開的網站, 都是關於Child Education, health and nutrition。四年的全職育兒經驗, 我開始疏遠(甚至有點討厭) 抽象的符號遊戲，愛上實幹的第一線勞動生活，精神上與「天父」(我的先父，曾做廚師和水電工人) 和工匠的相往來；甚至鄙視一些閉門造車、不做田野工作而又為社會不公義塗脂抹粉的社會學學究。所以心態上，我現在對「回到從前」的那種所謂「出山」，很有抗拒。
雖然如此，我發現現在可能比較適合我的受薪「職業」，乃人之患。而前排和稍後都會兼職從事社會政策的教育工作。像未閉關前一樣，參與一些分享會，如果題目時間地點對象 (和報酬 :-)合適，也會樂意奉陪。[...]
原文
My profile and my past lectures/seminars
2012-01-25
2012-01-20
The Story of Us
Celebrating our 15 years of living together, 8th wedding anniversity and DW's coming birthday on 28 January. Celebrating our two lovely kids
This was a perfect marriage movie but with very poor reception, because it touched on the daily stress, struggles, conflicts and hardships of marriage in realilty. Not romantic (not until the end) and indeed very confrontative so younger people (who are willing to spend) won't buy it. But it is highly acclaimed by married couples, especially those having been together for over a decade.
Michelle Pfeiffer:
This was a perfect marriage movie but with very poor reception, because it touched on the daily stress, struggles, conflicts and hardships of marriage in realilty. Not romantic (not until the end) and indeed very confrontative so younger people (who are willing to spend) won't buy it. But it is highly acclaimed by married couples, especially those having been together for over a decade.
Michelle Pfeiffer:
That's not why I'm saying Chow Funs [炒飯, their family members all love to eat 炒飯 and only want to share happiness not sadness over the 炒飯 table].
Funs, I'm saying Chow Funs because we're an us. There's a history here, and histories don't happen overnight.
In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy there are cities built on top of other cities, but I don't want another city, I like this city. I know what kind of mood your in when you wake up by which eyebrow is higher, and you know I'm a little quiet in the morning and compensate accordingly, that's a dance you perfect over time.
And it's hard, it's much harder than I thought it would be, but there's more good than bad and you don't just give up!
And it's not for the sake of the children, but God they're great kids aren't they? And we made them, I mean think about that! It's like there were no people there, and then there were people and they grew,
and an an an I won't be able to say to some stranger Josh has your hands or remember how Erin threw up at the Lincoln Memorial And I'll try to relax, let's face it, anybody is going to have traits that get on your nerves, I mean, why shouldn't it be your annoying traits, and I know I'm no day at the beach, but I do have a good sense of direction so I can at least find the beach, which isn't a weakness of yours, it's a strength of mine.
And God your a good friend and good friends are hard to find. Charlotte said that in Charlottes Web and I love how you read that to Erin and you take on the voice of Wilber the Pig with such dedication even when your bone tired. That speaks volumes about character!
And ultimately, isn't that what it comes down too? What a person is made of? That girl in the pin helmet is still here 'bee boo bee boo' I didn't even know she existed until you and I'm afraid if you leave I may never see her again, even though I said at times you beat her out of me, isn't that the paradox? Haven't we hit the essential paradox? Give and take, push and pull, the yen the yang. The best of times, the worst of times!I think Dickens said it best, 'He could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean', but, doesn't really apply her does it?
What I'm trying to say is, I'm saying Chow Funs because, I love you.
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